you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
