We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
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