the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
