I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
only you would photoshop your dick
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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