Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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