The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
