love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
