The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
