Whod you bang
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
