I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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