when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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