Don't you send me to vm
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
