So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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