You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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