i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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