she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
