Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
wat bout pragnant strippers??
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
