Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize