Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
