Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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