I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
