Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
