I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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