This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
