Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
