girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize