Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize