Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
