i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
