my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
