She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
