yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
