Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
