I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
3 2 1 whiskey
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
