ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
