Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
