"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
