Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
