yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
