She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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