ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He better not be in your backpack
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
