Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
