can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
