i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
