Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
