I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
