wake up i wanna do it froggy style
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
