Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
a search helicopter?!
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
