Please, let me fuck your mom
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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