i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
