WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
