maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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