I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
