why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
