he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize