Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
