when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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