Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
