How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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